The Mad Scienticians kick it old school

Though the Mad Scienticians had never attempted to create infused vodka before starting this blog, we have a long history of theoretical and practical experimentation in the field of Alconomics, the scientific study of intoxicating beverages. In the theoretical realm, we developed the Drunken Equation, a mathematical representation of an enjoyable drinking experience. Our practical work has been even more extensive over the years. Today we've decided to show our readers a glimpse from our early days of Alconomics: specifically, our very first experiment with Chemical X, on December 30, 2001.



Here, you see the Mad Scienticians as they were in the days of old. As you can see, the laboratory we used in those days was highly unkempt (as were we), but we managed to accomplish our work nevertheless. We acquired a sample of Chemical X this day without any specific plan in mind, we just wanted to see our drinks smoke and bubble. I haven't a clue exactly what type of beverage we are holding here.



A close-up of the beverages reveals the effects of the Chemical X more clearly.



These drinks, if I am not mistaken, are likely to be kamikazes. The clear glasses are much more appropriate for the use of Chemical X.



Alas, Chemical X has a very brief half-life once introduced to liquids. (Notice the rubber glove behind the drink; protective equipment should always be used when handling Chemical X.)



I include this overhead shot only to point out the cocktail recipe to its right. This cocktail, the Amethyst, was a favorite of Wayland's ex-wife, and was once thought long lost after slipping into who knows what drawer, crevice or temporal vortex in that mess of a laboratory. Several years later, we found this photograph, the only known record of the drink.



Lastly, we decided to attempt to re-carbonate a bottle of flat Coke using Chemical X. As the substance evaporated and bubbled through the coke, we realized that most of the carbon dioxide was escaping, making the exercise futile. After playing a bit with CO₂-filled rubber gloves, we capped the bottle to retain the gas.

If I remember correctly, the pressure expanded and distorted the bottle, but the Coke still tasted flat. It was worth a try.

Initial sampling of grape vodka

After a week of infusion, the Mad Scienticians sampled the ongoing grape vodka experiment to see what progress it had made. There was no change in color, other than a slight cloudiness (not quite as extreme as it appears in the photo), though we hadn't expected much coloration from the white grapes.



I was the first to try it. It's a shame the camera clicked when it did, because a split second later, I was gasping.



It's not that it tasted bad, it's that there was no flavor at all. "That's all vodka," I said. "I can almost taste a hint of grape in there, but it's so faint it's nearly unnoticable."



Wayland was equally unimpressed. "That burns like unfiltered," he declared. "There is a wisp of grape on the front end, though."

This infusion obviously needs to sit longer. We added a spoonful of sugar, hoping it will help set the infusion in; this method seemed to work well in our coconut vodka experiment. If that doesn't help, we may have to try again using sliced grapes, instead of simply piercing them. We'll sample it again next week and keep you posted.

In the meantime, check back tomorrow for a very special retrospective on the Mad Scienticians!

How to prevent an attack by bar vampires

This week we are making garlic vodka! This has been done at least once before, by the Vodka God, though we are going about it in a different way. Arthur's garlic vodka, being a last minute decision, was created using minced garlic and Cîroc vodka, whereas we are infusing halved cloves of fresh garlic in our usual quintuple-distilled baseline vodka.



Brendan cuts three cloves of garlic in half. We considered slicing them further, but did not want to make the garlic flavor overwhelming; if it doesn't turn out strong enough, we may try it again with sliced garlic.



We'll give this a try in a few days. Tomorrow, check in for the first results of our Grape vodka!

Results of chocolate and coconut vodkas

Two of our most long-awaited vodka infusion experiments are finally complete! Our coconut vodka took over a month to infuse; the chocolate took less than a week once started, but we spent at least as long as the coconut just deliberating over how we ought to do it. Nevertheless, both infusions were quite successful.

We debuted the chocolate vodka for its first tasting on Saturday night, at our Saint Patrick's Day party. The pieces of chocolate had not fully dissolved, but their appearance had changed little over the last couple of days; we believe that the vodka had reached a critical point of saturation, and that the chocolate was unlikely to dissolve entirely. The edges and vertices of the pieces had separated, and though the Lindt logos had dissolved away, a few pieces still had lines on them from the design imprinting.



As I lined up three sample shots, I licked some chocolate vodka from my fingers. Yummy!



The Mad Scienticians and visitor Matt tasted the vodka, and all approved, though the bitterness of the 85% cocoa hits pretty hard. It's tasty, but I believe it should be mixed with something sweet.



"Pretty decent," Wayland said. "It's got a strong chocolate taste, but it fades quickly, leaving vodka."

Since we were already slightly drunk from the green punch when we took this sample, we tasted it again on Tuesday. We happily confirmed the conclusions we reached on Saturday. We then bottled the vodka and I tasted a piece of the chocolate. It tasted much like it did before it soaked in vodka for a week; tasty, but slightly bitter and not very sweet. There was little absorption; only the slick taste of vodka on the surface.

Much like our caramel vodka, the chocolate vodka is a suspension, not a true infusion. Given time, a small layer of chocolate sediment settles to the bottom of the bottle, though the effect is not as extreme as with the caramel. The vodka will have to be shaken before each use.

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Tuesday night also saw the end of the coconut vodka infusion, which ran for a record-shattering 35 days. Last week, when we sampled it for the second time, we considered bottling it then; though the taste was still primarily vodka, the coconut had finally made a significant appearance. We ultimately decided to give it just a little longer, and now we're glad we did.



The vodka kick is still there, but it's diminished a great deal since last week. I had thought about adding a second spoonful of sugar after the last tasting, but it turns out we didn't need it; the first spoonful set the coconut in further with time.



Yes, Wayland, for the thirtieth freaking time, we see your shot glass. It's clever.

"The vodka's pretty smooth," Wayland said. "It's neutral when you drink it, but leaves the taste of coconut behind."

As one might expect, the coconut didn't add much color to the vodka, other than a slightly foggy appearance.

This week: grape vodka

Our vodka infusion experiment for this week is grape vodka. Tomorrow, we will post the results of both the chocolate and coconut vodkae.

We used about 25 seedless white grapes for this infusion. We pierced each grape through twice with a toothpick, to release the flavor slowly.



In retrospect, it would probably end up looking a lot cooler if we had used red grapes, but this should come out pretty tasty. We'll check on it in a week and see if it needs more time.

The Mad Scienticians' St. Patty's Day Extravaganza

Warning: extremely drunk content ahead!

Ah, Saint Patrick's Day. The day on which a young man's fancy turns to intoxicating beverages and the color green.



We at the Infusions of Grandeur laboratory can't let a holiday like this pass without a very special celebration. We decided to mark the occasion with a pair of excursions into the field of Alconomics. Firstly, we peer-reviewed the formula for the ultimate Jell-O shot developed by the fine scienticians at My Science Project. Secondly, we created a modified version of The Vodka God's famous punch for the second time, though this time, we added a new twist.



That's right. In the spirit of the holiday, this punch is green (sir). But we will get to that in due time. Let's talk Jell-O.

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The folks at My Science Project determined that Jell-O can hold up to 19 oz. of vodka per batch before losing cohesion, and a little more using sugar-free Jell-O. We decided not to quite toe the line; we used the sugar-free stuff, but kept their original ratio. Of course we used lime.

Batch #1

0.3 oz. sugar-free lime gelatin
3 oz. boiling water
Approx. 19 oz.* Mad Scientician™ baseline vodka



Alas, in our carelessness, we made one fatal flaw as we made the first batch. We didn't fully dissolve the gelatin in the hot water before adding the vodka, so some of it remained in powdered form at the bottom.



We decided to forge ahead and hope for the best, but to create a second batch in case the first failed. Wayland measured out the vodka:



* And this is where science broke down. After measuring 19 ounces of vodka, only a small amount remained in the bottle. Since sugar-free gelatin can handle a little extra, we decided to toss in the remainder, which is why we don't have an exact measurement listed above.

With all ingredients mixed, I poured the gelatin into one and a half ice trays to create single-serving Jell-O shots.



We decided to do a little calculation before starting the second batch. We determined that by using a full bottle of vodka, we could preserve the original (intended) ratio by increasing the hot water to 4 oz, and adding another packet of gelatin as a cohesion safety margin. A bottle of vodka, at 750 mL, is equivalent to 25.36 ounces; this ratio yields a Jell-O shot that is about 34.5% alcohol, or 69 Proof. Bill and Ted would be proud.

Batch #2

0.6 oz. sugar-free lime gelatin
4 oz. boiling water
750 mL Mad Scientician™ baseline vodka



Beautiful! This formula yielded enough to fill two ice trays perfectly, minus an immaterial amount of spillage.

We put both batches into the freezer -- we like 'em with a little ice crystallization -- and moved ahead to the next project. We'll return to the gelatin later.

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This batch of punch was similar to the punch we made for our New Year's Party, but we altered the recipe further, both for taste and for color; we also neglected to add any Chemical X. It is still based on the original formula developed by Arthur, the Vodka God, but again, that formula is protected by a strict non-disclosure agreement.





Within seconds of his first taste, Wayland noticed that his collar was flipped up, and previewed the events to come with an impromptu Doctor Elvis routine.

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As out guests arrived, we settled in to watch the classic Peter Jackson film Meet the Feebles. Anyone who has seen this movie can imagine how much punch we downed to make it through. We followed this by playing Abe Lincoln Must Die, the latest in the episodic Sam and Max adventure game series.

By this point we were all quite drunk, not to mention hopped up on sugar and caffeine. A perfect time to break out the Jell-O shots!

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Oh boy oh boy oh boy!



Should we really be eating these? Absolutely not. These Jell-O shots are practically straight vodka, and as you can see, we're pretty drunk already.



I'm not entirely sure what this was about. I think I was trying to explain which batch of Jell-O shots was positioned lengthwise in the freezer and which were positioned widthwise.

But the important thing is, both batches congealed properly, despite the problems with the first batch. But how did they taste?



I could not rein in my enthusiasm. I tried a shot out of the first batch.



Man, that sucker was strong! I didn't care. I recall it being pretty tasty, despite the strength, but my judgement at this point should not be relied on, folks.



Wayland's drunkenness was not sufficient to cover the vodka kick, nor was Matt's.



The second batch tasted much better. Since they both have approximately the same vodka/alcohol content, the additional gelatin (and lime flavoring) in the second batch seems to have been the deciding factor.

At this point Wayland and I decided to kill a full tray of Jell-O shots together, leading to the Quote of the Night:

"Let's use the punch as a chaser!" -- Wayland

Our memories are a little fuzzy from there.

So, we confirmed the valuable lesson of Khitomer: just because you can do a thing, does not mean that you must do that thing. 69 Proof Jell-O sounds great in theory, but it's not the best idea in practice, especially after guzzling Arthur's punch all night.

Coconut status (again), and a few remakes

Monday night, on the one month anniversary (!) of the coconut vodka experiment, we sampled the vodka yet again. We also completed three other infusions of previous flavors (apple, orange, and strawberry), to replenish our supply.



We were nearly ready to give up on the coconut infusion; when we first tasted it two weeks ago, there was hardly any coconut taste, and we did not expect it to be much better this time. We were pleasantly surprised.



"It smells more like coconut now," Wayland said. "It still has a strong vodka flavor, but it does taste like coconut."

I tasted it next, without fully preparing myself for how vodka-y it still is.



The vodka still kicks at full strength. The coconut vodka is still not as strong as I would like, but it's definitely stronger than it was two weeks ago. It seems that the sugar we added after the first sampling had a significant effect.

I am hoping that another week will make it more strongly flavored, though Wayland believes it has reached its limit. We're giving it until next week, just to be safe, but after that we're calling it done whether it's changed or not.

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The best thing about making a new flavor of vodka each week is that we always have a well-stocked bar. Though we don't drink it nearly as fast as we make it, we have gone through a good few bottles of vodka since launching in December. We've been restocking most of our infusions as we run out, but haven't mentioned this much in the blog (with the exception of the horrendous Strawberry Mark II). We've decided to start logging these remakes here, though none will get full write-ups unless we make major changes to the process.

Batch three of the strawberry vodka is a return to form. We created it the same way we made the highly successful first batch, except that we let this one run longer: nine days, instead of the original four. (This should not in any way indicate that we forgot about it. No sirree.) As a result, this batch is tarter and more pronounced in flavor than the first batch. We think it will be even better in drinks because of the stronger flavor.

The apple vodka, though we have not quite finished off the first batch, is one we have been wanting to repeat for quite some time. The first batch has been met with a mixed reception; Wayland enjoys it, as did The Ferrett and his entourage, though I have never liked it -- to me, it tastes like apples that have been sliced and then left out too long. I have long felt that the problem was flawed methodology; being one of our first infusions, we did it in a non-airtight jar, and without refrigeration. With these potential flaws corrected, we decided to make a second attempt. We also neglected to use sugar in this infusion, unlike the first.

Wayland said that this batch has a stronger vodka taste than the original. He believes that the lack of sugar made a difference for the negative. I decided that this batch is better than the first; it doesn't have the "off" taste, though it does have a slight bitterness that could have grown into that effect. I agree that sugar would have probably improved this infusion. That said, the bitterness will probably be diluted in a mixed drink, and I look forward to trying it.

Finally, we bottled and sampled our second batch of orange vodka. We altered our original procedure by zesting the orange with a cheese grater, as we learned to do during our lime vodka experiment. The zesting process doesn't seem to have had much of an effect on the flavor; it's very good, but basically the same as the first batch. Of course, we could only confirm this if some of the original batch was left to do a side-by-side taste test. We may arrange such a test in the future, to determine whether to continue zesting our citrus infusions or not.