Monday, July 28, 2008

Pulling a Morgenthaler...

So, I started perusing the liquor cabinet, when I came upon some inspiration. Grape soda and Pop Rocks vodka. With even more artifical flavors than our legendary Red Dye #3 cocktail, how could I miss?

Well, miss I did. Surprisingly, it was very chemical tasting.

So, with the theory, in for a penny, in for a pound, I strove onward with the artificial flavoring and added about two ounces of Red Bull.

Unfortunately, this still wasn't right.

So, I added a spash of grenadine. Eh, this was better, but still tasted funny.

To keep with the theme, I added some Bright & Early orange breakfast drink, in stock due to a recent urge to return to my drinking roots. This made it drinkable. I decided to settle with this, rather than keep tweaking, because I knew I could drink it and didn't want to waste the alcohol.

As I sat outside, sipping on it, inspiration struck me. I put down my cigarette, ran back into the laboratory and said, "I'm pulling a Jeffrey Morgenthaler!"

Brendan and my lab assistant looked at me inquisitively.

"I'm adding bitters!"

They rolled their eyes.

I added a few dashes of bitters. And the drink became pretty damn good.

I let them both taste.

Lab assistant: "Wow, I would drink that! That finally gave it some body."

Brendan: "That's wierd! It actually worked."

Thank you Jeff, when a drink seems like it might suck, I will have to remember to add bitters!


Anonymous said...

Don't blame me for delicious-ifiying your Pop Rocks martini, guys. I want no part of that.

Brendan said...

Hey, we wouldn't be mad scienticians if we couldn't corrupt others' theories. After all, science at its core is neither good nor evil. It's our job to find the potential for evil and to cultivate it.