I could drink a peach for hours

Today, the Mad Scienticians are heading back into the lab to make a new vodka infusion. (You didn't think we were giving them up, did you?) This time, we are creating peach-infused vodka.



I don't know how the rest of the world associates peaches, but here the U.S., peaches are largely associated with the South; particularly Georgia and South Carolina. However, much as we learned about the kiwifruit, its history draws back much further than that. In fact, the peach and the kiwifruit share a common ancestry: both are native to China.

We obtained a large peach (the better to snack on the remaining portion) and sliced it thinly around the center pit.



We put a handful of peach slices into a science jar, poured in the vodka and topped it off with as many more slices as we could fit.



Our research indicates that this infusion should be fairly quick, no more than a few days.

Our next infusion: Chicken

Chicken infused vodka?

No! Vodka infused chicken.

Greetings one and all, it is I, the "other" scientician. Up until now, Brendan has taken a brunt of the load and written up all of the posts up until this point. In an attempt to even things up a bit, I promised to try and write more of the posts after the relaunch. So expect to hear a bit more from me as well from now on. Anyway, on to the science...

Our idea for this experiment was to take a dozen wings and then marinade them in our habanero infused vodka, in an attempt to transfer some of the flavor of the habanero pepper into the wings, thus giving them a bit more of a kick than our normal wings.

We made two batches of wings, a dozen marinated in vodka for several hours, the other dozen non-marinated for control purposes.

But first, I had to find the habanero vodka in our ever-expanding infusions cabinet.



They say the waiting is the hardest part, but compared to our normal infused vodkae that can take several weeks; marinading the chicken only took a few hours, which seemed relatively short, since we went on to other tasks while they marinaded.

Eventually, the time had arrived and we began to fry the wings. We started with the non-marinaded batch, so as not to risk contaminating the oil. Both batches were dipped in egg wash, then rolled into our Mad Scientician brand chicken batter - flour mixed with seasoning salt and a secret blend of spices. The trick is to balance the heat between the front and back end, with just enough saltiness to give the flavor some depth.



We tasted the non-marinaded wings and had the following reactions:

Brendan:

"The frying process always reduces the heat a great deal. When tasting the batter straight, it has a heavy burn. After cooking the wings, however, they're not nearly as hot. These are a little less hot than I'd like, but do have some heat and just enough saltiness."

My reaction was fairly similar:

"Pretty good. I think we got the batter right on this time... I'll definitely be interested to see how the infused wings turn out."

Since we cooked all the wings before tasting any, the habanero infused vodka infused wings were ready to try immediately after.



Personally, I was not overly impressed, but thought it might get better with a longer marinade time:

"There is a subtle difference here I'm not exactly sure I can put my finger on. It's somewhere in the middle. I thing we might have more success if we let them infuse longer."

Brendan, on the other hand, was not impressed at all:

"Those wings are a little hotter. It's not a large difference, but it's about enough to kick these up to where I like them (when I'm not going all out with the heat). However, there is an odd flavor to the wings, reminiscent of vodka, an effect that I haven't observed with other foods we've marinaded with our infusions. Most of those previous experiments have involved beef, so perhaps the chicken accepts more of the vodka itself, along with the infused flavor."

Later, we theorized that the remaining vodka was probably due to the cooking method. Other foods, such as beef roasts, cook long enough and hot enough that the alcohol evaporates. The wings don't fry for quite as long, so the alcohol may not have had time to evaporate. Not to mention, the fried batter and oil may have trapped the alcohol in the wings.

So I wasn't impressed and my co-scientician felt the marinade detracted from the overall flavor. So, unfortunately, I think we need to call this one a failure.

But, isn't that what science is? Pushing the boundaries to see just what we come up with.

The things we do in the name of science (part two)

Welcome back to Infusions of Grandeur for the conclusion of our multi-liquor filtration experiment! Before we head into the results, we'd like to take a moment for an administrative note. (You've been waiting with bated breath anyway, you don't mind, right?)

We are thinking of switching our blog feed to full-article syndication, rather than the short blurb that currently syndicates. However, Ye Olde Feedburner has informed us that over half of our subscribers read us on Ye Olde Live Journal, and we don't want to blow up everyone's friends list unless we're sure about it. So, we'd like to leave it up to you. Let us know which way you would prefer to read our feed; you can leave us a comment here on the blog, over on the LJ feed, or by e-mail at infusions -at- holyducttape.com. Thanks!

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Having filtered each of our cheap-ass liquors through a water filter five times, it was now time to bite the bullet. Which is literally what some of them felt like. For each type of liquor, we first tasted the unfiltered cheap stuff that we had set aside, then a medium-grade equivalent, and finally the filtered cheap. We began with the gin. Below, you see the unfiltered sample stored in one of our trademarked ex-soy sauce bottles (because we're classy folks with a reputation to uphold), and the filtered back in its original bottle.



We are both vodka drinkers at our core, so our relative unfamiliarity with other liquors (at least in their straight form) may reduce the complexity of our analysis somewhat. Though we occasionally use rum or whiskey in a mixed drink, gin is a liquor that we seldom use for anything, other than the occasional Long Island Iced Tea. This, despite the fact that as our fellow drink-blogger Jeffrey Morganthaler recently proved, gin is simply infused vodka, something we are intimately familiar with.

We poured two samples of the unfiltered Aristocrat gin and drank.



This gin is rough, to be sure, with a heavy burn going down. I did find the flavor intriguing, though -- no, not good at all, but interesting enough to intrigue me about the real thing. I had tasted straight gin before, but not in many years, probably in my early days of drinking.

"It's basically like a cheap vodka with fruit around the edges," Wayland commented. "It isn't as bad as I thought it might be."

The next gin was Tanqueray, which differs from Aristocrat in more than just production standards: whereas Aristocrat is 80 proof, Tanqueray is 94.6 proof. Though this could be advantageous for some purposes, it made it more difficult to compare the flavor fairly.

"That actually burns worse than the cheap stuff," Wayland wrote. "Of course, the additional 15 proof might have something to do with that. The flavors were similar, but to me, the burn really detracted from the flavor." Personally, I felt that the difference between the two was only faintly apparent.

Finally, the first moment of truth had arrived. We poured samples of the filtered Aristocrat gin and drank them.

Wayland seemed positive about it. "This was much smoother than the first two. I don't think any flavor was lost through the filtration process either."

My reaction was not quite as optimistic. "The harshness is somewhat abated. So is the flavor. It tastes like thinly flavored vodka now."

---

The light rum came next. We use rum a great deal more than gin, but usually it is either gold or spiced rum. I can't think of a single instance when we've used light rum, other than one weekend filled with Anti-Voyager Zombies, several years ago.

Again, the unfiltered Aristocrat was not as bad as we expected; it was almost smooth, but not quite. The flavor was sweet, but very mild. The burn was relatively light as well. On the whole, it was fairly neutral and unremarkable.

Our mid-grade benchmark was Myers's Platinum White. Though this was meant to be our good rum, I felt a sense of foreboding already from their inability to use proper grammar in their own brand name.

"This wasn't as sweet as the Aristocrat," Wayland noted, "but it was still fairly smooth. It wasn't bad, but I think I actually prefer the cheap stuff."

There was definitely more flavor to this one, in my opinion, but it wasn't a sweet flavor. The label calls it a "rich, buttery flavor;" I wouldn't go that far, but this would be decent in a cocktail.

The filtered Aristocrat, again, was a reduced version of its former self in most factors. The burn was almost completely vanquished, but there was not a great deal of flavor remaining. "It's not as sweet as the unfiltered, but I think it's still sweeter than the Myers's," Wayland noted.

"I could sit and sip this," I said, "but there would be no point in doing so."

---

Things took a turn for the worse when we tasted the Aristocrat Gold rum. "This is definitely the worst of the rums so far," Wayland commented. "It's sweet, but has a touch of sourness to it as well. The burn is much more than was present in the lighter rums." I described the taste as "mild sweetness, followed by a harsh burn."

As we stated in Monday's introduction to this experiment, we erred in our selection of a mid-grade benchmark by getting a dark, rather than gold, rum. Therefore, the comparison is not really fair, but we're going to make it anyway. "This is pretty much quintessential rum as I think of it," I noted after tasting the Myers's Original Dark. "Strongly flavored and a little sweet, with a burn that's strong, but not too harsh. I wouldn't drink this on the rocks, but it's pretty good, certainly better than the light."

Wayland didn't react as well to the Myers's Dark. "Ugh! Something about that hit my gag reflex. This was the least sweet of the rums we've tasted. Something about the flavor of this just didn't agree with me."

Finally, we sampled the filtered Aristocrat Gold. Remember from our Monday post that this rum had been noticably reduced in color during the filtration process. "I probably liked this the best of the darks," Wayland said, as if that was a compliment. "Although, it seemed the most diluted of the group."

"The loss in flavor is less significant than the loss in burn," I noted, "but that's just because there was so much burn to lose. It still has a little bit of flavor and a little bit of burn, but overall, it seems watered down."

---

Whiskey was our next stop.



Whiskey gains its deep color from the oak casks in which they are aged. The label states that Aristocrat whiskey is aged for thirty-six months. You would think that after all that, they would take the time to remove the splinters.



This was easily the harshest of the liquors we tasted this night. "Someone call the cops," I said. "We just found a shine runner."

Once our palates had recovered somewhat, we followed up with the old standby, Jack Daniel's. "Much smoother by leaps and bounds, but it is still a bit harsh," I noted. Jack is a favorite of ours for mixed drinks, but it's still not a shooting drink for us. "This was alright," Wayland said. "There was a bit of a taste on the back end that I wasn't overly fond of, but otherwise it's okay."

The filtered Aristocrat whiskey followed the trend set by the previous liquors. "Much smoother still," I said, "but yet again, the filter has removed a lot of the flavor, resulting in another watery-tasting drink."

"This was definitely the best of the whiskeys," Wayland commented. "Of course, it also had the least flavor, so it might just be my own vodka bent."

---

We could put off the inevitable no longer. It was now time to move on to the tequila, or as we know tonight's cheap brand, "Pepe Motherfucking Lopez."



There is some history between us and Pepe. Seven years ago, a party was held in Wayland's honor. In those days, Wayland's standard drink was the screwdriver, which he tended to pour at quite a heavy mix. At this particular party, one of our "friends" decided he was going to get Wayland wasted, and offered to make him a screwdriver. What Wayland didn't realize at the time is that the screwdriver was spiked with Pepe Lopez.

It was this night that we learned that vodka and tequila do not mix. Wayland didn't get particularly drunk, but he did get sick and spent the rest of the night unconscious, accumulating Reddi-Whip about his person.

Naturally, Wayland would take the first taste of the Pepe tonight.



"That definitely wasn't pleasant, but the taste was mercifully short lived," Wayland said. "I think I can go another seven years before trying it again."

I managed to avoid the tequila that fateful night long ago, but I wouldn't get off so easily this time.



"Damn, that burns. Actually, it's not exactly a burn, it's a gag trigger," I commented once I was capable of doing so. "I know why there's no worm in it. It dissolved without a trace."

Our next sample was Jose Cuervo Especial, which fared somewhat better. "That didn't gag me... quite," I said. "The taste is strange, kind of spicy, but not the kind of spicy I like."

"Jose was definitely smoother than the unfiltered Pepe," said Wayland. "I'm just not a fan of tequila, I think. This is drinkable, just not a first choice."

Lastly, it was time to find out whether the filtration process could do anything to help Pepe along. We poured samples of the filtered tequila and drank.

Wayland noted some improvement. "Of the three tequilas we've tried, this one I might drink again; it was fairly smooth. Not bad, but I'm never going to be much of a tequila drinker, just something about the taste."

I found that the tequila had the very odd property of tasting watered down, yet triggering the gag reflex anyway, though not nearly to the extent of the unfiltered Pepe.

---

The results of this experiment were disappointing, but not altogether surprising. The filtration trick works so well on vodka due to its simplicity -- it is essentially a mix of water and ethanol. Other liquors, having more complex flavors, contain more compounds that are meant to be there, but can be removed by filtration, reducing it to a seemingly diluted taste. If you are simply looking to make a lot of mixed drinks and get drunk, this may be an option for reducing the harshness of your drinks, and perhaps even the hangover effects (we did not test this theory). However, if you're drinking because you particularly enjoy rum, gin, whiskey or (god help you) tequila, you're better off by far to make the investment and drink decent liquor.

The things we do in the name of science (part one)

Welcome, one and all, to the re-debut of Infusions of Grandeur! It's great to finally be back. We've got a lot of great things planned for the blog, but we wanted to start back off with something big. We decided that, since we're expanding our horizons a bit, we should see how well one of our time-honored methods will translate to other subjects.

As our long-time readers know, all of the vodka infusions we make are based on bottom-shelf rotgut vodka that has been filtered five times through a water filter to make it drinkable. The process won't turn Vladimir into Grey Goose, but it does remove most of the impurities that make it wretched, transforming it into a decent mid-grade. If you are skeptical, you can read our original debut for a side-by-side comparison; or, for some of the technical details, read our study on vodka filtration.

But the question we intend to answer today is, how does this process work with liquors other than vodka? Bottom-shelf run, whiskey and other liquors have the same problem with impurities as bad vodka. However, they also have flavorings that are not present in vodka, the simplest of all liquors. Will these essential compounds survive the filtration? There is only one way to find out for certain.

In this experiment, we will test the filtration of five different liquors: gin, light rum, gold rum, whiskey, and tequila.



Aristocrat was chosen for most of them because it's a fairly standard low-grade that most people are familiar with (at least, in our region). Pepe Lopez tequila was chosen for sentimental reasons, which will be explained in part two of this post.

Before filtering each liquor, a small amount was set aside to serve as a control. The testing of each liquor consisted of three samples: first, the original, unfiltered liquor; second, a middle-shelf equivalent (see below); and finally, the filtered liquor, to see how it compares to both.



Before we begin, there are a few caveats that we should discuss. First of all, the same filter was used throughout this experiment, which could taint the later portions. We attempted to reduce this risk in several ways. We are using a brand new filter, and ran plain tap water through it between each liquor to rinse it. We also used less of each liquor than our usual 750 mL bottle; as a rough estimate, we used about 300 mL of each. (We bought 375 mL bottles when possible, and set some of that aside for the control; no one seems to sell gold rum in 375 mL bottles, so we bought a fifth and used only a portion of it.)

Second, I'm sure that Scottes will point out that the Myers's Rum we're using as a comparison to the Aristocrat Gold is a dark, not a gold rum. We didn't realize this until after we had completed an $80 liquor run, so we decided to leave it in place with this disclaimer. (The irony is not lost on us that, though we are evaluating a way for frugal drinkers to save money, this is our most expensive experiment ever.)



We filtered the liquors in order of color, starting with the clear liquors. We began with gin, then moved on to light rum, gold rum, tequila, and finally whiskey. The first test of this experiment would be color of the liquors: if there was a loss in color due to the filtration, this would not bode well for the process.

The gin and light rum went through first; there was, of course, no change in their color. When we began filtering the darker liquors, we began to observe their color closely. After five passes through the filter, the gold rum experienced a fairly obvious loss in color. Here you see the filtered rum on the left, and unfiltered on the right.



The tequila came next. Pepe Lopez has a fairly light color to begin with; by our rule, we should have filtered it before the gold rum in the first place. As such, the color change was subtle, but it definitely occurred.



The change in color is more apparent when you compare them more closely. Here's a cropped section of each photo; the filtered tequila is on the right.



The Aristocrat whiskey, though much darker than the tequila, experienced a similarly subtle change in color.





Do these changes in color represent a similar reduction in taste? With such bad liquors, would that really be a bad thing? Does a small loss of color mean a similarly subtle drop in taste, or is it evidence of a greater change? We will return on Wednesday with the tastings and results!

Greetings, new readers. We will be back very soon!

Wow! We're getting a deluge of traffic (by our standards) due to the reference in today's Home on the Strange comic. Thanks, Ferrett! The Ferrett has previously reviewed some of our infused vodkae (one, two, three), but we were not expecting this latest nod. (For our longtime readers, if you're not reading HOTS, what's taking you so long?)

We decided to take this opportunity to announce the date of our return: October 1. Be sure to check back then for our latest experiments and reports in the realm of alcohol and mad science.

Remember that you can subscribe to us using your favorite RSS reader. You can also follow us on our LiveJournal feed. See you soon!

Infusions of Grandeur on hiatus until late September

It's about time we made our hiatus official, after a month-long void in posting. Infusions of Grandeur is not dead, but we have been reevaluating what we want to do with it. A vodka infusion each week, while fun, is getting to be overly repetitive (and since we've cut back on our drinking, the infusions have outgrown their cabinet). So we're taking a break while we discuss the future of the blog.

We are going to continue in the same spirit (so to speak) as we always have, but we intend to expand our focus. There are many ways that our brand of mad science can be applied to alcoholic beverages, and much we can still learn and, in the process, teach. We will not stop doing vodka infusions, but we won't be starting a new one weekly; rather, we'll rotate between new infusions and other sorts of experiments and analyses.

Our plan is to re-launch Infusions of Grandeur sometime at the end of this month. We would aim for sooner, but I am soon to be offline and out of town for two weeks of National Guard training. In the meantime, we will be planning a variety of new subjects to discuss. Please join us in a few weeks when we return to the laboratory!

A taste worth coming back to life for?

Egads! After our brief stint in the afterlife, the Mad Scienticians have resurrected! After collecting our pulverized remains, we funneled them into the Tevatron particle accelerator and carefully collided the whole mess together, reconstructing our bodies. Reuniting our spirits with our bodies was a much simpler matter; as anyone who's seen enough Frankenstein movies knows, all this really takes is a well-placed Tesla coil.

Since we live once again, it's time to start a new vodka infusion experiment! This week, we began a kiwifruit infusion, using the meat of two kiwifruit.



I cut the two fruits into thin slices, then peeled off the fuzzy skin. The skin is edible, but we suspect it would negatively affect the infusion.

Once the kiwifruit were sliced, I placed them in a science jar under Wayland's close supervision, and added a fifth of our filtered vodka.



Though kiwifruit was made famous by New Zealand growers, it is originally a Chinese fruit. New Zealanders brought the plant home about a hundred years ago, calling them Chinese gooseberries. When they began exporting the fruits worldwide in the 1950s, the name was changed to "kiwifruit," after New Zealand's national bird.

We don't know how long to expect this infusion to take, but we will test it periodically until it is complete, as always.